A mom who likes to live outside the norm

How do you even do this anyway?

How do you know that you’ve been “unfriended” on Facebook?  I occasionally notice that my friend count seems smaller, but I just figure I annoyed someone, or they just didn’t care about what I posted, or just had too many people to keep track of and I wasn’t a priority.  I’ve never gone through my list trying to figure out who is gone, or tried to find a list of people I used to be friends with.  Occasionally I realize I haven’t heard from someone in awhile, and while most of the time I chalk it up to them no longer posting, I may realize they took me off.  Again, I don’t take it personally.

But then again, I rarely do a wide sweeping “friends” clean-up.  And lately, it’s been due to me needing more peace in my life in an area I can control, like what I read.  Yes, I could restrict or block people, but to me that seems more hurtful than just removing them.

I think the problem lies in the wording of “friend” and “un-friending”.  We’re surrounded by hundreds of acquaintances that we label as friends.  We add distant relatives just because of the connection.  And we follow people that we lost contact with decades ago just because of convenience.  And then opinions, debate and often arguments ensue.  We share frustrations with what happened, we clean up our lists, and people that got brushed into the clean-up are hurt because we “un-friended” them.

I was starting to get convicted of having hundreds of “friends” that are at best acquaintances.  Where do you draw the line on who you have on your list?  Is it just people you would talk to on a regular basis if it wasn’t for the convenience of the internet?  Is it only people you like reading what they type?  Is it just people you talk to and see on a regular basis?  It’s a struggle I’ve been dealing with.  And even after several mass clean-ups I still have over 300 “friends”.  And I probably have dozens of people whose feelings I’ve hurt for “un-friending”.  So should I re-friend everyone, keep deleting and risk hurting feelings, do I get my list so small that it’s really just true friends, or do I delete the whole thing?

It’s all questions I’ve been struggling with as I have too much time on my hands trying to deal with my own hurt feelings.  And fluctuating pregnancy hormones sure do make things more difficult.  I can’t take anything too seriously, so I just start removing some of the distractions, pressures, and frustrations and inevitably I throw in some that I come across and take out for totally random reasons (and I’ll admit, some have bits of anger in the reason), and I hurt feelings.

I’m human.  I do things for the wrong reasons.  Satan will use those reasons to hurt myself and others.  It is another one of the dangers of living in a society that spends more time “interacting” over the internet than talking in person.  When you try to be vague over situations, people try to speculate over who it could be.  And when in moments of frustration you say too much and get specific over an internal hurt that was not intended to hurt you, you hurt them right back.  While I love my life, what God’s given me to do in it and the tools he’s given me, I sure am ready for this earthly life to be over so that I don’t hurt and therefore hurt others.

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  1. Pingback: Table of Contents « UnorthadoxMomma

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